The flare up...
Helpful ways to think about it and what you can do
Welcome to this week’s Pain Talking
You maybe familiar with the term flare up.
It refers to an increase in pain.
“I have had a flare up”.
Frequently, when people first start telling me about their flare up, it is deemed to be negative.
A problem.
A consequence of doing something wrong or of doing too much.
What if there was another explanation? Another possibility?
Here is how I suggest and encourage the people I work with to look at flare ups.
Oh, and firstly I suggest they rename the flare up to a learning opportunity.
Why?
Because it is.
I did too much
No you didn’t do too much because you did it. You were able to do it so it was not too much.
What happened was that you had an outcome you didn’t want.
I made a bad decision
No you didn’t. You made the only decision you could have in that situation.
You just didn’t get the outcome you wanted.
What happened, happened. It couldn’t have happened any other way because it didn’t.
When you come to know this in your heart, you leave it behind and are open to the possibilities that exist now.
I did something wrong
No, you are doing your best.
You have done nothing wrong.
Instead of being self-critical you can be self-compassionate.
These situations and experiences are part of living yourself better.
They are unavoidable because of this.
So instead of fearing and avoiding, you can embrace this as the journey you are making to transform your life and pain.
Cause and effect
There is no simple cause and effect.
There are innumerable variables in play at any given moment.
Our human minds like certainty and explanations. This means you can jump onto the idea of a cause and effect.
This can take you down the wrong path.
Seeing the bigger picture is important, acknowledging that you only ever see an aspect and your knowledge is miniscule.
What do you know? Your experience.
This also gives you the opportunity to examine your beliefs and know they are just that. Not truths.
To recognise which are sticky. Believing one thing means you are limited and closed off to all the other possibilities.
Instead you can remain open to possibilities, meaning you update your beliefs readily—the beginner’s mind.
This is important for making positive change and transforming your pain.
A learning opportunity
What if you took the view that the situation is a learning experience?
If you asked yourself, what can I learn from what happened and take forward in a positive way?
What can I do differently next time?
Usually this means being more precise and personal with your activities and exercises, tailoring them to your needs in the moment rather than following a protocol or your wants.
In Pain Coaching sessions we look into this detail so you can use your experience to move forward in your chosen direction.
At the end of the day, what you have is your experience. That is what you are seeking to shape for the better.
Not data, not concepts, not models. Experience.
I encourage you to examine yours and shape it in what you are doing moment to moment.
Onwards 🚀
RS