Keep your standards high, high, high!
Even though that may challenge those around you
You can choose the height of your standards.
One thing for sure, if you set them high, you will achieve.
This does not mean setting unrealistic or perfectionist goals.
It means you expect the highest standards from yourself—doing things the best way you can in that situation.
This becomes a habit.
It is something you practice.
However, a few things can get in the way.
One of them are the standards of the people around.
Another is their values.
When you set your standards really high and the people around you don’t, including loved ones, it creates a problem.
Because we have a need to fit in, to be part of the group and connected.
That’s evolutionary.
But for you to achieve what you want to achieve and what you can achieve, you must set your standards high.
If you are not careful, people with lower standards will pull you down.
They don’t want to do it because they don’t care, it is because they fear you are out-growing them.
They know your standards are higher.
The question is, what do you want?
Do you want to fly and be free?
Or be tethered down?
This is not always easy.
I have high standards for my health
You may set this one.
Because your health underpins everything else you are doing and being.
Your health and building it matters for overcoming chronic pain because you are creating the conditions to feel better. Without creating such conditions, your body systems will not update from a protect state (when you feel pain).
High standards for heath can include:
regular exercise
a consistent sleep habit
quality diet
no alcohol
practicing skills of being well: eg/ meditation, gratitude, self-compassion
The standard is about what you do and how you do it.
Each day you practice in the best way, because this is the standard you set.
You know it matters.
There is nuance to your practice.
Someone with lower standards may try to persuade you to miss out on a practice or something else.
You may feel the pressure of needing to connect and have a decision to make.
Lower your standards to that of the other person, or maintain your high standards to ensure your life is following your chosen path.
You may decide to explain to the other person why you are doing what you are doing and why it matters to you.
If they respect you, they will take this on board.
High standards across your life
There will be other areas this happens.
At home.
At work.
With friends.
Out in the world.
Maybe you are working towards an event or goal.
This certainly includes overcoming your pain.
To get there you need to practice high standards.
If the people around you don’t support your high standards and your values (what matters to you), it is difficult.
They are trying to encourage you to take another path. Not your own.
They worry you are growing beyond them.
It takes your clarity, self-compassion and courage to maintain your high standards and to help them understand why it matters to you.
Hang out with people who have the highest standards
This is what you can do.
And there are different ways you can do it.
You can choose to spend time with people who have really high standards.
You will see this in how they do things and the success they have had — it’s infectious.
Here are some ways you can surround yourself:
a mentor or a coach who works with you one on one
friends and family who are encouraging and supportive
read the books of encouragers so you become familiar with their approach, adopting what you can
listen to people on podcasts or youtube
The commonality is that even if they don’t know you, they make you feel at the centre of their world.
You matter.
The way you think and your beliefs are shaping your experiences, including pain.
Your way of thinking and your beliefs evolve depending on who you spend time with and who you listen to.
Now you can decide.
RS - The Pain Coach
The practice of simple self care
~ a virtual retreat, June 28th
3 live sessions + full recording to watch anytime you wish, over and over.
Practice with us.
A wide range of skills and strategies — forming habits, building them into your daily routine because your health and wellbeing matters for all that you care about in your life.
We are adding bonus material to the day because we have so much to share! 60 years worth between us!
See event information and reserve your place here.
