Many people believe that pain relief comes from things being done to them, or by taking pain medication.
This can happen.
But it is short-lived.
Relief until the next time.
No sustained transformation.
Sustained change requires active work by the person.
Getting better, improving life in the many ways that you can, is something you do.
With support, guidance and encouragement.
Starting and regularly featuring conversations.
Conversations about change.
Because what got you here, won’t get you there.
In other words, if you are suffering because of your pain, you will need different skills and strategies to the ones you are using now.
They need updating.
Building on what works, and adding new ones.
That change must come from you.
You decide you want something different to the experiences you are having now.
To achieve that, you take a different tack.
Starting by truly understanding your pain.
No-one I have met in the many years I have been professionally helping people suffering chronic pain, has arrived with an understanding of their pain.
They know their pain. The impact.
But not why and how it persists.
Which is key to understand what you can do to move forward in your chosen direction.
People know what they want to be able to do.
And why it matters.
But not how to do it.
That is the guidance — Pain Coaching.
Conversations about change
About positive and meaningful change.
We talk about you, your situation, what matters, your strengths and successes, what you love, what brings you joy.
This reveals reasons why change is important to you.
And ambivalence. Fears. Resistance.
Reflections highlight them so you can see them.
Deep, non-judgmental listening, acceptance, awareness soothe them.
You come up with your own reasons for making changes, because it matters to you.
This can happen in a session but also in a chat with a friend.
Insights leading to meaningful change take just a moment and can appear anytime.
They need conversations.
Do we just talk?
Some ask this.
How does talking change pain?
No, we do much more than talk, but without talk there is no change.
There are many practical skills and strategies to learn and put into place consistently to create the conditions for change.
Yes, talking does change pain because of the realisations and shift in thinking, beliefs, and expectations that occur in and after conversations.
These are the keystones of the pain experience.
Not the tissues—muscles, joints, nerves, bones, tendons, ligaments etc.
They are passive in this, as they do not have the ability to generate pain — read here.
Conversation is connection.
Connection builds a relationship so we can work together to help you live your best life. And keep doing this as you move forward.
RS
The Pain Coach: guiding and encouraging you to understand overcome your chronic pain
Understand and overcome your chronic pain, the book. For people who are suffering and for people who are helping and guiding the people who are suffering.
It is also for people who want to live well because we all suffer and want to learn how to ease suffering by living our best lives.